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What happened on my 3-day energy reboot

What happened on my 3-day energy reboot

December 12, 2018 - By Sam Mann

“Stop thinking, allow yourself time and the answers will come.”

This was something I needed to hear. Someone who I admire and respect was giving me permission to switch off my manic brain. At last.

I badly needed a respite from the churnings of my mind as it endlessly contemplated the daily round of lunchboxes, laundry and my true calling in life.   

Don’t get me wrong; life was good, but in my heart, I knew I had lost my sparkle.  Despite outwardly ‘having it all’, I felt lost, jaded and empty.  And this thought made me feel guilty; I should be more grateful.  And yet still the thought crept in; is this it…?  

And then, out of the blue, I had an invitation : would I like to go on a retreat…?  You bet I would!  

The invitation was from Lynn Jackson, a powerful healer and spiritual teacher, whom I’d met some years ago through a mutual friend.  At that time, our meeting had made a great impression upon me and had helped kick start a period of expansion and deep spiritual exploration.

But that was then. 

Fast forward six years and life had well and truly taken over. Gone were the meditation sessions, yoga classes and quiet retreats. In their place: school runs, online shopping, Whatsapp gossip, and lots of red wine.

Something was missing. I’d lost my oomph, my sense of purpose, and it felt increasingly unlikely that Google, Apple or Jacob’s Creek were going to help me find it.

The call from Lynn felt like a sign.  

***

A couple of weeks later, I was en route to Sussex, awash with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Although Lynn’s retreats are personally designed to suit individual circumstances, I realised I didn’t know exactly what to expect. Did she, I wonder, fully understand just how important this was for me? What if it all crashed and burned…and I with it?

But as I arrived at the fabulous boho treehouse with all mod cons, a waft of calming incense greeted me and these worries melted away. Lynn was already there, stocking the fridge with fresh, wholesome food. The place was immaculate; an oasis of calm and tranquillity, and a perfect little sanctuary in the heart of the countryside.  As the evening sun streamed through the windows, I felt the pent-up tension begin to dissolve.

I’d already set my intention: I would embrace everything Lynn suggested with an open mind, no matter how much inner resistance I felt. I certainly wasn’t going on retreat with her to stay in my comfort zone.

We settled down to meditate on the impressive wooden balcony. I wrapped myself in a fluffy blanket and listened to the leaves rustling around me. I enjoy meditating, but so often something is not quite right and I cannot settle. Thankfully, this evening was different. I felt grounded and alive, and fell effortlessly into an expansive and relaxed space from which I was reluctant to return. I felt like I could stay sitting silently on that balcony forever. Eventually, as Lynn talked me back into my body, I found myself thinking: why don’t I do this more often? Why is it so much easier to tune into Netflix than my own body?

I spent the rest of the evening in a blissful state of relaxation - no phone, no TV, no thinking, stressing or strategising.  Just me and the rustle of the wind in the trees. I snuggled up in bed and woke 12 hours later. 12 hours!  It had been years since I was able to do this. The magic had begun.

“This labyrinth is a symbolic representation of your life.  Just walk the path carefully and mindfully and see what comes up.”

We were in a private Victorian walled garden with a circular pattern mowed into the lawn. It was like a maze, but there was only one route to follow, and it ended in a small central circle of grass.  

As I began to walk the freshly mowed trail I felt silly, like a child following chalk marks on a playground. What was Lynn expecting to happen? I was already going round in circles in my day-to-day world, and this seemed like a bit of a crass metaphor.  But I pushed my doubts aside and focused on the path, walking slowly, head down. After a few minutes, my legs started to get heavy and soon it felt as though I was wading through thick treacle. 

I called out, half laughing, “I can’t walk!” 

The centre couldn’t come soon enough, and when I got there I closed my eyes, breathing in the fresh air to clear my head. A sense of peace washed over me. It was like I’d reached the place I needed to be. 

After a few moments to gather my thoughts, I set out on my way back ...only I couldn’t see where I needed to go. I was flustered, flummoxed. Where was the path? How could I be lost in a simple labyrinth that has only one route in and the same route out? A thought flashed into my mind: how ironic, lost in a labyrinth…and a little lost in life.

After a faltering start, I began retracing my steps. And, slowly, I relaxed into the journey. I walked easily, confidently now, noticing little flowers in the path that I swear hadn’t been there on the way in. They looked freshly planted - beautiful and vibrant.

I returned to the starting point relieved and somehow rejuvenated.  Lynn explained that the journey into the centre represented my recent past, the centre is the present, and the journey out is an indication of my future.

So, the treacle analogy had been spot on. I’d been wading through it for months. And whilst I couldn’t yet see a pathway forwards, this was a potent affirmation that I just had to look with new eyes to find it.

 

‘I’m past my prime.’

I wrote the words on a piece of paper and tied it to one final pine cone. There were now five cones in front of me – each one wrapped in a written statement of a thought or behaviour that I wanted to jettison. Five things that had been holding me back and dragging me down.

We lit a fire and I got lost in the flames as Lynn drummed a rhythm behind me. By this time I was fully immersed in the retreat and this shamanic fire ceremony felt like one of the most natural things in the world.  I loved the powerful feeling of liberation as I tossed each pine cone into the fire and watched my fears and negative thoughts disintegrate before me.

***

Time passed quickly, and I didn’t want my retreat to end. For three days I’d been well and truly pampered with a stress-busting massage and mineral float session, as well as a potent crystal-infused water ceremony. I was starting to feel like a different person.  

I’d also enjoyed a lot of precious me-time, with zero urge to check my phone. I’d made friends with a horse in the adjacent field, had revelled in the luxury of uninterrupted reading time, and had chomped my way happily through a whole box of homemade brownies.  

But the best was yet to come - a deep, energy-healing session that was unlike anything I’d experienced before. As rain lashed against the wooden treehouse, I felt intense energy move around my body and a total sense of happiness and relaxation. I was in the right place, in safe hands and everything was going to be alright from now on.

As we finished, the rain had stopped and we walked out onto the most spectacular sunset I have ever seen. Majestical patterns of vivid colours streamed across the sky and as the magical light bounced around me I couldn’t help but think the sky was giving me a heads up on what is to come. 

Fast forward 6 weeks and a lot of things have changed in my world. 

I’m meditating and exercising daily, alcohol is banished to weekends and I feel younger, positive and more vibrant as a result. I’m meeting new people and can now see my untapped potential. My life is blossoming - just like the flowers I’d come across on my way out of the labyrinth.

My journal entry the day before my retreat reads:

“My life is flat. I am on this earth to do more. I want to help people, but I need to help myself before I can help others.” 

A stark comparison to that of yesterday:

“I am happy. My life has meaning. I am embracing new opportunities. I’ve got so much more to give.”

Those formerly grey skies of mine are now full of bright colour!

For more information about Lynn and her retreats, visit www.bespoke-retreats.co.uk 

 
 
 

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